Running from your faith

I've been a christian since I was about 14. Starting out as a Christian I really didn't know much about God at all. Now 12 years later I feel like I have somewhat of a clue, not a giant one, but a small clue. 

I am not a deep theologian, I don't enjoy disecting every little thing about God, nor do I really enjoy a lot of history. The history of the church and such don't interest me.

What does interest me is a realtionship with the creator of the universe. The maker of the stars and He calls me by name. One thing I am curious about is why God would choose to love me even though I do not deserve it at all. I am a sinner, I mess up daily. I mean I've blown it more than a million times in my short 26 years on this earth.
But there God is, love unfailing, mercy new each morning. Holding out grace, waiting for me to take it.
I am truly humbled.

Let's get to the point of this blog shall we? Last Christmas time my faith was under attack. Satan was hitting me hard, I was beginning to doubt all of the things that I had believed for years. 
As I sat in the church service hearing the story of the birth of Jesus, I began to question.
"Virgin birth? what if these people just made up this story and it's be carried on?"

Soon I had entertained these thoughts so much, that soon I was doubting everything.
"Was Jonah really in the belly of a large fish for days?"
"Did the waters really part for Moses?"

It was a rough time for me, These were things that I hadn't struggled with! I had always believed these things! Why now!

Was I going to have to run from my christian faith? I mean if I didn't believe these things why was I in church? Why was I leading a childrens ministry?

I cried out to God, "Whats the deal!? I don't understand! Why do you ask us to believe things that are hard to believe!?"

And then it hit me. God had spoken. It wasn't an audible voice, it was more like a thought entered my head. The thought went something like this:

"I do ask you to believe things that are hard to believe, thats why it is called faith. How dare you say that those things didn't happen. You are looking at things through a finite mind. I am infinite. My ways are way higher than your ways. Trust me, I got this."

From time to time the thought "This didn't happen" will enter my mind as I am reading the Bible, but I have to come back to that thought "I am looking at things through a finite mind, God is infinite. His ways are higher than my ways, trust me, I got this."

I know a lot of my friends who have gone through this very same thing. But for them, they just can't stop focusing on the questions.
Drop your questions at the foot of the cross and just gaze at your savior, trust Him, he is in control, you are not.
You are a finite being, you have a beginning and an end. God is infinite, he was not created, nor will he end, he has always been, and always will be. He can do things that you can not do.

I think the problem is, we like to humanize God. We try to put him on our terms, and we just can't do that. God is bigger than our punny little minds could ever imagine. 

-The Adam Rainwater