I catch myself reminiscing all the time. Thinking back to the summers I spent as a staffer at a children's camp. I think about the way I was, and how the friendships I made those summers seem to help define me. I seriously don't think I would be the man I am today if I hadn't worked all those summers at camp.
God showed me a lot of things in those summers. I learned a lot about leadership and a lot about children. I feel thats were my calling of being a children's minister started.
When I worked my first Summer at camp in 2007 I had no intention of becoming a children's minister, to be honest, I didn't even know children's ministry existed.
But as I started the next summer in 2008 I began to think more seriously about children's ministry, the question in my mind "Could I really be a children's minister?"
Did I have it in me? Was God leading me in that direction.
By my 3rd summer working at camp, I was ready to move on, I still enjoyed working at camp and getting to minister to so many kids. But I just felt my time at camp had come to a close.
In 2010 I didn't return to camp, instead I was an intern at a church working under the children's ministry. It started out well enough but, soon became a huge thorn in my side.
I was constantly belittled by my boss, told that I had the raw talent but that it needed to be more defined.
He constantly would say "I'm just waiting for you to take ownership of something"
Those times working at that church were really hard, on top of my boss belittling me, I was beginning to die spiritually. In the years that I worked there I maybe only attended a service at the church 6 times. I worked at that church for 3 years.
When I approached my boss about it, he advice was to listen to podcasts or just find another church to go to that wasn't having church at the same time we were.
Terrible advice!
Before I left the church I was really at a cross roads. I did not want to work at this church anymore. Spiritual things didn't interest me anymore. I went to service in the children's area at the church just for a pay check and not for the joy of ministering to children.
I had reached an end with children's ministry. I was done.
I began to put my application in at different places, I started with churches and then I put my application in at Lowes, Target and pretty much any where else I could think of. I just wanted out.
So in the middle of all of this my boss leaves on a mission trip for a week and leaves me in charge. And I gotta say I really enjoyed it. I got to do children's ministry the way I wanted to do it. Thats only confirmed that, thats what I wanted to do with my life. While he was gone on his mission trip, a church contacted me saying they were interested in me being their children's minister. So I went for an interview, after a few more meetings and going to the church and getting voted on, I was their children's minister.
I gotta admit after all this, I still felt like I couldn't do the job. Could God really use me? I was burnt out spiritually, my well had run dry, I was thirsty.
I remember when I went to the church in view of a call, and I had my beautiful wife by my side during the worship service and I remember how good it felt to just be ministered to. To just sign a praise song to God with other people, to actually sit and hear someone preach a sermon.
I still get to sign a praise song to God with other people and hear someone preach a sermon each and every week.
We have an early service and a later service, and we have kids church in the later service. I am blessed to be able to be a children's minister and also that I get to go to service. I actually get to go to sunday school. Wow! What a blessing.
So why did I type out all of this? Whats the point, Adam?
The point is, you never know where life is going to take you. You may be in the middle of a real crappy situation, you may hate your job and you feel like you can't work another day there. Or you may feel like you have reached the end with a relationship and you are scared whats gonna happen.
Can I tell you that life is full of those moments? Life is full of questions, and to be honest some questions will never be answered, so we just have to accept that and move on with our lives.
I use to tell myself "Adam this is just a transitional time in your life, once you get past this life will be better and you will finally have arrived!"
What a stupid thing to think! I have since learned that your whole life is a transitional time, you will always be inbetween something in life. You are constantly between one chapter and the next.
What matters is, what are you doing with your time now? Are you truly enjoying the days in which you are giving, or are you looking forward.
There is a saying that say "The grass is always greener on the other side"
You know why that is? Its because you are not taking care of your own grass, you are always looking over the fence at someone elses green grass.
We need to take care of our own lives, enjoy the time we are given. Stop worrying about the future and just enjoy life right now, stop looking over the fence at someone elses grass, look at your own grass and enjoy it.
Ya feel me? Smell what I'm steppin in?
Let tomorrow worry about its self, today you have enough to worry about.
Enjoy the days you are given.
Keep God #1
And all else will fall into place.
-The Adam Rainwater
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